Cheri-Bibi: The Stage Play Read online

  SISTER MARY: (speaking with difficulty) No, it’s necessary that I be here. (calling Chéri-Bibi) Chéri-Bibi, listen to me! It’s I, your sister. Have mercy on me. Chéri-Bibi, I still love you. In the name of Heaven, listen to me!

  (A new burst of firing.)

  DE VILENE: There’s his reply.

  SISTER MARY: If I die before you, know that I have forgiven you.

  (Renewed bursts of gunfire.)

  SISTER MARY: (falling to her knees) My God! Protect him! Protect him!

  (Night is now almost total.)

  BARRACHON: Watch out! They’re coming!

  SHOUTS: Long live Chéri-Bibi! Chéri-Bibi!

  DE VILENE: Aim!

  BARRACHON: Fire!

  (The fusillade begins; we hear screams, shouts, bugle calls. Many sailors roll on the deck.)

  PASCAUD: Captain! We can’t hold them back!

  BARRACHON: Fall back on the steerage and we’ll try to catch them between two fires.

  (At the very moment, La Ficelle emerges from the wheel-house, leaps on the machine gun and trains it on the bridge.)

  LA FICELLE: Too late!

  DE VILENE: (enraged) Traitor!

  (Suddenly, the convicts emerge; at their head is the Countess, disheveled, armed with an axe; she is followed by Petit-Bon-Dieu, Le Kanak, Gueule-de-Bois, Le Rouquin, and others, swearing oaths, shouting, etc. The battle rages on for a while, then...)

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: The ship’s on fire!

  (Flames are seen in the distance; Chéri-Bibi appears next to La Ficelle.)

  ALL THE CONVICTS: (shouting) Long live Chéri-Bibi!

  (The Captain, the Lieutenant and the surviving sailors are now at the mercy of the convicts. Sister Mary of the Angels is in a corner, praying.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Stop! We’ve won!

  ALL THE CONVICTS: Long Live Chéri-Bibi!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Raise our flag.

  (The black flag goes up the mast.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (victorious) This is the black flag of pirates–the flag of Chéri-Bibi!

  C U R T A I N

  SCENE III

  MASTERS OF THE BAYARD

  The rear bridge of the Bayard. The set is designed as a cut-away including a large cabin (the Captain’s quarters) and the rest of the bridge. To both the left and the right, the bridge is limited by netting. Further back, there is a large cabin whose portholes have been opened to provide more air; it is furnished in an English style. On each side are two uncovered corridors. Further back, in silhouette, we see the great sail, smokestacks and the ocean. On the stage, there is an armchair and several wicker tables. It is 2 p.m. under a tropical Sun.

  AT RISE, Chéri-Bibi is in the cabin, dressed in a Captain’s uniform, writing, his back turned to the audience. La Ficelle, dressed as an Ensign, enters from one of the corridors leading to the bridge.

  LA FICELLE: Captain, the second mate’s just relieved the navigator.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (without turning) Ah?

  LA FICELLE: From what it appears, we’ve gone down a few degrees too many to the South.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (still not turning) Ah?

  LA FICELLE: Captain, how nice you look in that uniform!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: You like it? You, too, look very nice

  LA FICELLE: Yes, but I’m not as handsome as you. I never thought Captain Barrachon’s uniform would look so good on you!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Ah, but am I not Captain Barrachon?

  LA FICELLE: Yes, of course! What have you done with Chéri-Bibi, Captain?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: He’s in his cell and he will stay there! (a pause) We owe you our freedom, my brave La Ficelle! You’re the one who gave us weapons and hid the Countess and I after our escape.

  LA FICELLE: I didn’t embark on the Bayard as a scullion to twirl my thumbs!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Thus, one more time, you wanted to link your fate to mine. You, an honest lad, wanted to share the misfortune of a convict like Chéri-Bibi.

  LA FICELLE: Because I know you’re innocent.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Innocent! (despairing) Am I? I’ve begun to doubt it myself. To such a degree that, for eight years I’ve shouted it in vain to the face of the world. But by living with bandits, have I not become like them? Perhaps worse than them? I’ve become a brute, following only the vilest instincts of violence, theft, murder!

  LA FICELLE: (in a tone of gentle reproach) Then you no longer think of Mademoiselle Bourrelier–Cécily?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (whose eyes fill with tears) Cécily, Cécily!

  LA FICELLE: You still love her?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Always! For life! (baring his breast) Heavens! I had her name engraved on my flesh, just as she’s engraved in my heart.

  LA FICELLE: (reading the tattoo) “To Cécily for life, Chéri-Bibi.”

  CHERI BIBI: And I love her with a mad love which is without hope, since I must never see her again. Besides, were I to see her again, my innocence recognized, rehabilitated at last, I could only flee her, because she is not free!

  LA FICELLE: That’s right! She married Maxime du Touchais.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes, this Maxime whom she appeared to detest and yet, upon whom she threw herself the second day after her father’s death.

  LA FICELLE: Doesn’t that haste seem strange to you?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: When one has seen what I’ve seen, when one has suffered what I’ve suffered, nothing seems strange anymore!

  (Gueule-de-Bois puts his head through the door at the back. He, too, is dressed like an officer.)

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Can I come in? I want to make a report. The discipline on board in general is terrible, but in particular with respect to Petit-Bon-Dieu. He objects every time I give him an order and spends his time indulging himself like a pig!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Make yourself obeyed at any price! I want the rules to be rigorously observed, understood? (a pause) A cigarette, Lieutenant?

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: A smoke? That’s not to be refused, Captain.

  (Petit-Bon-Dieu, dressed as a Quarter-Master, enters from one of the corridors of the bridge.)

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: (timidly) Captain, I need to ask you something on behalf of the Countess.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: What does she want?

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: A moment of your time.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: All my moments belong to the whole community. I haven’t the right to indulge in any distractions, especially listening to some gossip.

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: But, Captain, remember that, after La Ficelle, the Countess was really useful to us.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: You all get caught by her beauty like moths to the flame!

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Perhaps, but she’s caught you too!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (threateningly) Mind your words, Gueule-de-Bois. Le Kanak is my friend, and the wife of a friend is sacred!

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: He’s always had good morals, our Captain.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: The women aboard my ship will be treated with respect. If you’re not dead at this time, you owe it to Sister Mary.

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: I’ll never forget it. And to prove it, last night, I watched over her again in the company of our ship doctor, Le Kanak!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: How is she, this morning?

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Much better. As her lungs were not harmed, there’s nothing to fear. She can now get up.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Ah! (he remains pensive for a moment) So, nothing new. The gentlemen of the guard are enjoying their new position?

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: They don’t dare complain, Captain! Anyone who does, I will boil in oil

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (abruptly) Leave me now.

  (They leave by the door at the back after giving a military salute. Then, Sister Mary enters by one of the corridors. She can be seen to shiver. Very moved, Chéri-Bibi rushes toward her, grasps her hands and throws himself at her feet.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (choked up) My little Jacqueline! My little Jacqueline!

  SISTER MARY: Chéri-Bibi!

  (She gently raises him.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: If you’ve come, it’s because you’ve forgiven me
.

  SISTER MARY: I’d already forgiven you. Since your conviction, I haven’t stopped praying for you. When you were caught after your first escape, I volunteered to go serve in the hospital in Cayenne to be near you.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (very moved) My little sister Jacqueline.

  SISTER MARY: I am Sister Mary of the Angels now.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: To me, you will always be my little Jacqueline who played with me in the perfumed garden by the sea, in those happy days of Spring in Normandy.

  SISTER MARY: Yes... Do you remember when we came back from school and used to say good evening to all the good women mending the nets on their door steps?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: And the coastline with its flowers and its butterflies...

  SISTER MARY: ...The cliffs, the white sails, the gulls, the wind, the old clock at the chapel which rang when a sailor was lost at sea... Oh, Jean... Chéri-Bibi... (she bursts into tears) I’ve asked God’s pardon, but despite everything, I haven’t forgotten those days, the blessed hours of our childhood. Because I can’t forget you committed your first crime because of me...

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (wildly) You, too! You still think that I lied! Yet, you know me better than anyone else. You saw me every day, you read my eyes like a book. And yet, you’re like the rest of them! You believe me guilty of the of Monsieur Bourrelier! I’ve written to you fifty times about what happened. I swore to you that I’m innocent!

  SISTER MARY: I believe you, but as I said, even if you had killed him, I couldn’t be angry with you! Before God, I took all responsibility for that crime.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: If I’d done it, I wouldn’t bother hiding it. On the contrary, I would boast of it! That’s what you don’t understand, Jacqueline! What the judges didn’t understand either. It’s for this very reason that I’m always looking for the man with the grey hat, who is the true murderer and for whose crime I have been unjustly condemned!

  SISTER MARY: I knew it wasn’t you who killed the Marquis du Touchais either. There’s some new evidence...

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Fatality wished that that I become a murderer in the eyes of the woman I love! It’s frightful! But tell me about that new evidence. Is anyone seeking to acquit me of this second crime?

  SISTER MARY: Yes. Someone you knew very well. Reine, the Marquise’s aged governess.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Reine knows the real culprit?

  SISTER MARY: Yes. One night, bad weather surprised me during one of my errands, and I was forced to spend the night at the Marquise’s villa. There, old Reine came into my room, gripped by a strange exaltation, and said to me: “Poor Jacqueline! Your brother is innocent! It wasn’t he who killed the Marquis, it was someone else.”

  CHÉRI-BIBI: She said that!

  SISTER MARY: Yes, she even added that she would speak of it when the hour comes, but that if you knew the reasons that prevented her from speaking now, you would be the first to order her to remain silent...

  CHÉRI-BIBI: She might die...

  SISTER MARY: She’s arranged everything, so that the truth will become known when the hour comes.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: When the hour comes... (shrugging) Perhaps it will come too late!

  (La Ficelle enters from the bridge.)

  LA FICELLE: Captain! The lookout has spotted a wreck several miles off starboard. Distress signals are coming from it. What should we do?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Head towards it and increase speed!

  LA FICELLE: Aye, Captain!

  (He leaves.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (after a pause) What about Cécily? Is she happy (with effort) since her marriage?

  SISTER MARY: Alas, no! Before his marriage, Maxime du Touchais wasn’t worth much, and the years haven’t improved him.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: But with Monsieur Bourrelier’s millions, surely he leads a happy life?

  SISTER MARY: It isn’t that. He forced his mother and his wife to leave the Chateau du Touchais in order to publicly install his mistress there.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: That’s abominable!

  SISTER MARY: So Cécily returned to the villa Bourrelier, with the Dowager Marquise.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: What a scandal!

  SISTER MARY: And what an affront for poor Cécily! That villainous woman took over the Marquise’s estate, with her carriages, her motorcars. The Parisians who go to spend their summer vacations in Dieppe every year call her the “Star of Dieppe.” And now, that’s also the name of the Marquis du Touchais’ new yacht.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: What type of woman is she?

  SISTER MARY: What they call a “woman of the world” or a “demi-mondaine.” Her name is Sonia. She’s from Poland originally. She now lives at the chateau–with her husband.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: With her husband! What ignominy! What about poor Cécily then?

  SISTER MARY: She’s consoling herself by raising her son, Petit Bernard.

  CHERI BIBI: How old is he?

  SISTER MARY: Six, I believe. Happily, Cécily has not completely abandoned! The Marquise is very good to her, and also Monsieur de Pont-Marie, a friend of Maxime who often goes to visit her.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (remembering) Vicomte de Pont-Marie... A friend of Maxime...

  SISTER MARY: He has changed much and made amends for the mistakes of his youth. He has even kept away from the Marquis, who, when I left, was preparing to go on a cruise with his friends in his yacht.

  (Gueule-de-Bois enters.)

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Captain! The wreck is now in sight! (offering a pair of binoculars) Look!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (taking the binoculars, and grumbling) A shipwreck! As if the cages weren’t crowded enough! (he looks through the binoculars muttering incomprehensible words, then, with a strange exaltation, murmurs) Fatality!

  (Meanwhile, the convicts, dressed up as sailors, come onto the bridge. Sister Mary leaves by the back.)

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: What do we do, Captain?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: We’re going to rescue them. Everyone must remember his new station! Don’t make any mistakes! Nothing important happened on board since the Bayard left the Isle of Re, except for one revolt by the convicts, who was quickly suppressed! I’m Captain Barrachon, and the real Barrachon has become Chéri-Bibi. (to Gueule-de-Bois) Lieutenant de Vilène, you will greet the castaways on my behalf as they board. I will then come out to greet them in person. (aside) Is fate turning my way?

  (He leaves.)

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: You heard the Captain! No fooling around! The first one out of step hangs high and fast!

  LE ROUQUIN: (leaning over the netting, looking at the castaways) Hey! There’s some gals over there!

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: Goddesses, you mean!

  LA FICELLE (shouting to the helmsman) Bear Starboard all the way!

  LE ROUQUIN: They look like whores!

  LA FICELLE: (shouting) Gently! Slacken up a quarter!

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: There she is; the sloop is coming along side.

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Lower down the ladder.

  (The convicts, dressed as sailors, execute the different maneuvers.)

  LA ROUQUIN: Ain’t that nice! It’s all going swell!

  LA FICELLE: You can thank Chéri-Bibi!

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Attention! They’re coming up!

  (Baron Proskoff, around 40, rakish looking, appears.)

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: Welcome aboard the Bayard, Sir.

  PROSKOFF: (introducing himself) I’m Baron Proskoff. Words fail me to thank you, our saviors.

  (A very pretty blonde woman is hoisted aboard.)

  PROSKOFF: (introducing her) And this is Mademoiselle Nadja de Valrieu, a very famous dramatic actress.

  GUEULE-DE-BOIS: (aside) Holy Cow! I’d really like to get to know her better.

  PETIT-BON-DIEU: (aside, to Le Rouquin) Just see how excited Gueule-de-Bois is!

  LE ROUQUIN: It’s not just him!

  (Now, an equally beautiful brunette is hoisted aboard.)

  PROSKOFF: And this is Mademoiselle Carmen de Fontainebleau, the celebrated artistic dancer.

  (Congratulations, handshaking all around.)


  PETIT-BON-DIEU: (to Gueule-de-Bois, pointing to Carmen) You see that gal, there? She’s just my type! If she would–if it weren’t too expensive...