Cheri-Bibi: The Stage Play Read online

  LA FICELLE: What’s going on?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I let myself be dragged into a private dining-room with the Baroness to get the letters back...

  LA FICELLE: And you have them?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes! But in the course of our conversation, it happened that this woman was able to see the tattoo on my breast which reads: “To Cécily forever, Chéri-Bibi.”

  LA FICELLE: Aie! Why did Le Kanak left that piece of skin on you?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Why? Why? I don’t know! He had an odd sense of humor. It’s too late to ask him now that he’s dead.

  LA FICELLE: Well, we’re in for it for sure now! Are you sure she saw your name?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes, for she uttered a loud scream! She’s discovered our secret!

  (Suddenly, he sees Cécily and de Pont-Marie enter dressed in evening clothes.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Them! Here!

  (Chéri-Bibi drags La Ficelle behind one of the large plants and hides while La Ficelle leaves without calling attention to himself. The Maître D’ comes to greet Cécily and de Pont-Marie.)

  MAITRE D’: Will the gentleman and the lady be dining with us? Would you like a private room? (to a passing waiter) Give them number 24!

  CÉCILY: No thank you. I’ll have a cold chicken wing in the main hall.

  MAITRE D’: (bowing) Very well, Madame!

  (He leaves.)

  PONT-MARIE: Then you stubbornly refuse to be alone with me?

  CÉCILY: I agreed to eat something because I am tired You’ve been dragging me from cabaret to cabaret, trying to get me drunk.

  PONT-MARIE: That’s unfair, Cécily! I agreed to all your whims. Since we left Dieppe, you’ve arranged things so that we haven’t had a minute alone! Must I actually insist that you honor the deal we made? No more words need to be exchanged between us? (coming closer to her)

  CÉCILY: Don’t come near me! Don’t touch me!

  PONT-MARIE: Why did you come then? There was no need for you to do so–unless, of course, you want to save your son! So I displease you as much as that? But don’t be that way, let me love you. Until now, you’ve only seen me in an unfavorable light, but give me a chance and I can show you that I’m a gallant man and you will forgive me.

  CÉCILY: (pushing him away) Yesterday, under the threat of infamous extortion, I was mad enough to agree to go out with you. I would have done much better to offer you money! All the money you wanted! All my fortune!

  PONT-MARIE: Let’s start all over again! Money! You know very well that I don’t want it. If I needed any, your husband would give me some.

  CÉCILY: To belong to a man like you–never!

  PONT-MARIE: And yet, we deserve each other. Are you, perhaps, an honest woman? No! You’re not. You’ve lied! You’ve always lied! You lied to your husband, to everyone else! You will be mine. You’ve had one lover; you can have another! (smirking) It’s only the first one who counts!

  (He catches hold of her. At the same moment, Chéri-Bibi leaps from behind the plant where he was hidden and goes for Pont-Marie’s throat.)

  PONT-MARIE: (nearly strangled) Help!

  CÉCILY: (fainting) Maxime!

  (Chéri-Bibi releases de Pont-Marie who gets up as best he can.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (terrible) Get out of here! Now!

  PONT-MARIE: (waving his fist at him) We will see each other again!

  (He leaves by the door at the rear making a final threatening gesture.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (calmly looking at Cécily) Do you want me to call for help?

  CÉCILY: (overwrought) No! No one! I don’t want anyone!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (softly) Then get hold of yourself, I beg you. Your pain makes me ill.

  CÉCILY: After what you heard...

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes, I heard everything.

  CÉCILY: I am not imploring your pardon, and I take the entire responsibility for my sin! I married you purely out of filial duty. I didn’t love you and you made no attempt to win my heart. During one of your trips with your habitual entourage of whores and gamblers, Marcel Garavan came. I loved him, and I granted him a joy that I would always have refused him, if, through your ignoble conduct, you hadn’t given me every reason to do so! But I have been guilty! I’ve betrayed my duties as a spouse, and your honor as a husband ought to demand revenge! I await your decision. I’ve told you the story of my sin. Don’t think I am trying to provoke your pity! But you made me suffer so much that I had an imperious need to shout out my suffering to you.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I’m the one who’s guilty. The real culprit is me! I forgive you for everything. Don’t be afraid, neither for yourself, nor for Petit Bernard, our son!

  CÉCILY: (incredulous) Our son!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes! I will continue to love that child. He will continue to bear my name; he is innocent of a sin for which I do not have the bad to faith to blame you. When the Marquis du Touchais behaved in such a manner towards a wife such as you, he deserved all that and more.

  CÉCILY: Perhaps, someday, you might regret your generosity?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: No, Cécily, because I love you! And that love is so invincible that it can withstand crises which would doom other couples. We each had plenty of reasons to despise each other, but an innocent child came into this world, and those reasons have vanished. Cécily, I love you, and I defy you now to tell me that it is not reciprocated.

  (At the same moment, we hear a violent uproar. Diners erupt into the hall.)

  MAITRE D’: This is too horrible! Shocking. (to a waiter) Go fetch the police at once!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: What’s wrong?

  (Inspector Costaud enters.)

  COSTAUD: They’ve just discovered the body of Baroness Proskoff in a private dining room. Strangled.

  CÉCILY: The poor woman!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (realizing) Inspector?

  COSTAUD: More than ever, I believe that Chéri-Bibi isn’t dead. He is the murderer!

  C U R T A I N

  SCENE VII

  DOCTOR WALTER

  At the Chateau du Touchais. The Boudoir of the Dowager Marquise. There is a door on each side. At the rear, French doors give access to a balcony. We sea the sea in the distance. It is 10 a.m.

  AT RISE, the stage is empty, then a side door opens and a servant enters, introducing Cécily, dressed simply.

  CÉCILY: Would you call Reine? I would like to talk to her before seeing the Marquise.

  (The servant goes to the door, opens it, and makes a sign. Reine enters as the servant leaves.)

  CÉCILY: Did the Marquise spend a good night?

  REINE: She seems to be fine this morning, and if this improvement continues, the doctor will certainly authorize her to resume her usual walks.

  CÉCILY: Did you ask her if she would see her son today?

  REINE: (in a strange tone) She told me she would agree to it.

  (Chéri-Bibi enters holding Petit Bernard’s hand. They are in beach costumes. The boy goes to Cécily and shows her the boat under his arm.)

  BERNARD: Look, Mama! The nice boat that Papa brought me from Dieppe.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Good morning, Reine. (she recoils slightly) What’s wrong with you? Do I frighten you?

  REINE: (trembling) I will go inform Madame la Marquise of your arrival.

  (She leaves.)

  CÉCILY: It looks like Reine isn’t happy about your visit. Why would she have something against you, my friend?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I don’t know. But I didn’t behave well towards my mother and Reine is her faithful companion. So it’s likely she doesn’t keep me in her heart.

  CÉCILY: I told her more than once that I would be happy if she joined me in my efforts to obtain your mother’s forgiveness. But I got the impression that she’s tried to undermine them.

  (Petit Bernard goes to play on the balcony.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Your perseverance has triumphed over the my mother’s resistance, and Reine’s doleful influence–if your impressions are correct. Let Reine think what she likes, it’s not important! What matters is that
you trust me and have forgiven me.

  (The door opens and the Dowager Marquise enters. Seeing Chéri-Bibi, she remains motionless. Chéri-Bibi seems very troubled.)

  MARQUISE: (gripped by great emotion) Maxime!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (aside) Am I not about to commit some kind of sacrilege?

  (Petit Bernard returns.)

  BERNARD: Papa! Why aren’t you going to kiss Grandma?

  (He takes Chéri-Bibi by the hand and leads him to the Marquise.)

  MARQUISE: (kissing Chéri-Bibi) Maxime, my son!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Mother, I’ve done many wrongs to you, but I undertake to use the rest of my life to make you forget them.

  MARQUISE: You’ve already begun, Maxime! Since you let me return to our chateau.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I am ashamed of having made you leave it.

  MARQUISE: For a long time, I refused to see you, but then, I said to myself, I must embrace my son one last time.

  CÉCILY: We are celebrating your return today.

  MARQUISE: I don’t feel very well, my dear child. I am a very old woman, and Maxime has returned too late. Nonetheless, I will not sadden this day that you are going to spend with me.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: But, mother, you’re still very healthy.

  MARQUISE: Alas, that’s not the opinion of my doctor.

  CÉCILY: I saw him at your bedside and he made a good impression on me.

  MARQUISE: Indeed, and I decided that you should meet him, so I begged him to come to lunch with us, with his wife whom he wants to introduce to me.

  CÉCILY: (to Chéri-Bibi) Doctor Walter recently set up practice in the region and has quickly gained an excellent reputation.

  BERNARD: Mama, can I go sail my boat on the lake?

  CÉCILY: Ask your grand-mother, because you’re at grandma’s place.

  MARQUISE: Certainly, my darling.

  (She pulls Bernard to her and kisses him. Cécily rings for a servant, who enters.)

  CÉCILY: (to the servant) Take the child to the lake and ask Reine to watch him.

  SERVANT: Very well, Madame (to the Dowager Marquise) Doctor Walter has just arrived; I asked him to wait in the grand salon.

  MARQUISE: Ask him to come up here, please.

  SERVANT: Yes, Madame.

  (The servant leaves with Petit Bernard.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Take it easy, mother. I would be devastated if your strength betrayed you on the very day you welcomed me back.

  (The servant returns and announces:)

  SERVANT: Doctor Walter.

  (Doctor Walter enters–it is Le Kanak! He has hardly changed since the Bayard.)

  LE KANAK: (going to the Marquise and doing a baisemain) Madame la Marquise!

  (Chéri-Bibi stares at Le Kanak with horrified eyes, murmuring some unintelligible words, trembling, then leaning on a chair.)

  CÉCILY: What’s wrong with you, Maxime?

  (She rushes to him and helps him sit in an armchair.)

  LE KANAK: (naturally) A slight dizziness, perhaps?

  CÉCILY: (to Chéri-Bibi) Speak! You’re scaring me.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (regaining control of himself) It’s nothing. (aside) It’s him!

  LE KANAK: It must be the heat. It’s very muggy this morning. Stretch out on this sofa. I’ll examine you. (pulling out a stethoscope.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: (stiffening) No, thank you.

  LE KANAK: (going to the window and opening it) Let’s get some air in. (to the Marquise) Would you take my arm, Madame la Marquise, and walk in the park? I’m sure your son’s malaise is only temporary.

  MARQUISE: Is Madame Walter below?

  LE KANAK: Indeed. My wife was very happy to accept your kind invitation.

  CÉCILY: (to Chéri-Bibi) I’ll stay with you.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: No, really, I prefer to be alone for a minute. I feel much better already.

  (Le Kanak and the Dowager Marquise leave. Cécily follows them, after having placed a cushion under Chéri-Bibi’s head. As soon as they are gone, Chéri-Bibi rises abruptly from the sofa.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Le Kanak! Alive! Such a striking resemblance! His bearing, his voice... It’s really him!

  (A door opens and La Ficelle enters.)

  LA FICELLE: (out of breath) You’re not going to believe me, but I just saw Petit-Bon-Dieu!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: And I just saw Le Kanak!

  LA FICELLE: (shaking) Him, too!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: He’s calling himself Doctor Walter now. Where did you see Petit-Bon-Dieu?

  LA FICELLE: I was walking through the harbor when I saw him at the window of a winery.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Did he speak to you?

  LA FICELLE: Yes. He told me that he’d fulfilled his life’s dream and was at last established as a wine merchant and restaurateur.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: He’s working with Le Kanak! What are they trying to do? I’m cursed. Fatality! I understand now why he left that indelible mark on my breast. Ah! He’s got me!

  LA FICELLE:: You will defend yourself... We will defend ourselves!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I was so peaceful, so happy! Too happy! It couldn’t last. (a pause) You really saw Petit-Bon-Dieu?

  LA FICELLE: As I see you. And you are really sure it was Le Kanak?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes (pause) Heavens! Look!

  (Chéri-Bibi indicates with a gesture that La Ficelle should look outside.)

  CHÉRI-BIBI: The woman by his side who is speaking right now to Cécily...

  LA FICELLE: It’s the Countess! (pause) They’re coming up the stairs. In a moment, they’ll be here!

  CHÉRI-BIBI: They didn’t see you come in? (negative gesture by La Ficelle) In that case, get out of here.

  LA FICELLE: But I could be useful...

  CHÉRI-BIBI: It’s better if Le Kanak doesn’t suspect your presence.

  LA FICELLE: Do you think he’s going to try something against you?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: His interest is to act carefully, at least for the moment. Come to my place this evening. I’ll tell you what I’ve decided. Get going now, I hear them coming!

  (La Ficelle leaves. The Dowager Marquise, Cécily, Le Kanak and the Countess enter.)

  LE KANAK: Are you feeling better, Monsieur le Marquis?

  CHÉRI-BIBI (resuming his countenance) Yes, thank you again.

  KANAK: (pointing to the Countess) Allow me to introduce you Madame Walter, my wife, who’s returned from a voyage overseas.

  CHÉRI-BIBI (with his old self-assurance) Overseas, Madame?

  COUNTESS: Yes. I was in India.

  (Cécily passes out glasses of Port which a servant brings on a platter.)

  CÉCILY: (to Le Kanak) Some Port?

  LE KANAK: Thank you, Madame. (to Chéri-Bibi) But I understand that you’ve traveled greatly, too, Marquis. No one has forgotten the terrible story of the Bayard where you were taken prisoner by escaped convicts. I would love to hear you tell us your adventures.

  CHÉRI-BIBI You must have read the details in the newspapers. They were full of them at the time.

  LE KANAK: It is true that, after that brazen display of savagery, that awful Chéri-Bibi became somewhat of a celebrity.

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Don’t forget his accomplices, including one Le Kanak who particularly distinguished himself.

  LE KANAK: Ah yes. They were some popular figures there. I believe there was a woman nicknamed the Countess on board...

  CHÉRI-BIBI Yes. She was Le Kanak’s girl-friend.

  LE KANAK: But they said she was in love with Chéri-Bibi, too. Was that true?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: I wouldn’t know. She didn’t confide in me.

  KANAK: (abruptly) Do you think Chéri-Bibi is really dead?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Yes, I do! Chéri-Bibi is dead! I myself saw his corpse thrown into the sea in a sack. His sister, a nun who lives nearby, was there, like me, at the sad funeral of this terrible bandit! He is dead! And I beg you to believe that he won’t ever return.

  CÉCILY: Why do you say that, my dear?

  CHÉRI-BIBI: Because Doctor Walter seems to doubt my word
.

  (Cécily goes to the balcony.)